well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
