Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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