He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
