They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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