420 ftw
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
