Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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