i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
