I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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