im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
