So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
