I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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