i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Enjoy the penises
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
