Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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