oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
