Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
