Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
