you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
A+ Viking dick
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
