i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
