i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
