Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
