I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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