guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
