I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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