So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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