This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
