but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
