No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
