And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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