If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
