I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
