Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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