Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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