we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Holy shit dude........stairs
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
