thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
