I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
