Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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