a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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