she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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