if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
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