I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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