he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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