dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
