What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
