Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He? As in you personified your dick?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
