dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
