Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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