why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
