Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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