i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize