You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
