First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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