I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
