I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
