I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
