Duck Duck Cougar?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
